Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Well everyone...looks like the year 2007 is going to end and it has been a really fruitful year...haha...next year 2008....its gonna be preparations for O'lvls....and everyone is going to be really busy...so i really wish to take this opportunity to thank some people who have always been there for me....be it good or bad times....i sincerely wish to send my gratitude out to you guys...without wonderful friends like you....my life is probably incomplete....without further ado...please read the following messages below.
To Darren:
Well...i have known you for about 3 years already....you have really been a great friend to me....haha....always cracking jokes and stuff.....when i first got to know you....i already knew you were someone whom i could trust and depend on....we started getting to know each other better....and then we were band mates in the band "Sleeping Awake" which you and ryan formed....thank you for inviting me to play in the band.....erm....next year is really gonna be a short year for us....i do hope that we can continue our friendship even after we complete our O levels and maybe go our seperate ways....thanks for being there for me....sharing ur ipod and music taste with me.....and also being late for jamming sessions as usual >.<....haha...you really put a smile into my life....thanks so much!
To Ryan:
Haha!....FEI JIANG!!!....haha...well i know you for about close to a year i guess....since we only started to know each other in sec 3.....you are someone who is really hyper....and you are a joker as well haha.....its been great having you as a friend.....and former twin guitarist.....but sadly you are now the drummer haha....well...i hope we can do some acoustic sessions together in the future....as well as continue to make the band sleeping awake a progressive band....thanks so much for your company....and introducing me to so many boys like girls songs....which i have grown to like....haha....
To Dom A.K.A Boss:
BOSS!!....your kah kia going to take this chance to write you a message! haha.....sorry for slacking during my working time....but if i dont write now....den i dont know when i will get another chance to write this liao....hmm....i know you for 3 years.....you are probably one of the closest friends i have in secondary school....seeing that i known you since the early days of sec 1....i know you have always been a fanatic of cars haha....i hope that your dream to become a professional racer will come true....cause i beleive that if you have dreams....works towards them and achieve it :D....you are a great friend to have...and i think i would have regretted not knowing you ^_^....thank you for chatting with me on msn about personal life and stuff....and for cheering me on when im down....haha....oh and i do hope you improve on your spagetthi cooking skills ^_^....must remember to cook one portion for me also hor!....haha!
E.C:
Aiya...i think i just use E.C you also know who i talking about liao hor?...no need to do introduction liao ok?....haha....dont come pretend you dont know that im writing this to you hor...haha....eh sorry i cannot find gold colour font....so just have to make do with yellow....but thats your other name right?....yellowish_devil....the one who beat me 4 times in yahoo pool >.<....haha....haiyo....i got alot of things to write and say to you....but some things....now is not the right time to say haha....but anyways....dont be surprised if this gets a little long hor....you also write quite long for me....so i will also write long if not longer....for you...haha....hmm....i know you since when ar?....ok la say is sec 1.....but we didnt really know each other well that time.....i also never really payed close attention to you....cause during that time all the attention was on people like shu fang....madeline....kaiting...hannah....this kind of people haha....so i guess you were like more of the quiet types one.....than in sec 2 leh......got to know you better through "II"....and i really want to thank god for giving me the stupid idea of creating "II"....if not i wouldnt get to know you well le....haha....than....we became CKH and E.C through the literature performance....which i until today...will not forget.....haha....and from there our friendship slowly prosper to where we are now....and not one day have i regretted knowing a friend like you....in fact if i wished i had known you earlier....but you cant go back into time can you?.....haha....i want to take this opportunity to thank you for being probably my best friend....you really helped me alot....and i guess i started to look at life from a different angle after knowing you....scary huh?...i bet you never thought that you were capable of doing such a thing haha.....but anyways....i wanna thank you for lending me a listening ear to me when im feeling abit down/emo....and also allowing me to share my stories with you haha...knowing you has definitely brightened up my life....and also change my views on certain things....i know that sometimes life can be very unreasonable and unfair...but....lets learn to live with it?....we only have this one life to live fruitfully....we may never know if we will be reincarnated back into human form....or as other living creatures....so since we were given this opportunity to be humans....lets live our life to the best that we can....i also want to let you know that...if you ever need any help...i will always be glad to help you out to the best of my abilities....you will always be a friend that i will never forget in this lifetime....thank you....
To Her:
There are just so many things i wish you say to you...even though you might not know who i am refering to...i just want to write out my feelings and stuff here....so i hope that you dont mind ^_^....well i have already dedicated myself to you for 17 months....and its going to be 18 months soon on christmas :D.....i dont know why i feel this way towards you....the moment i knew you...you were different from all the other girls....i do not know how to explain these in words....so sometimes i express my feelings through writing songs and playing the guitar....your smile and laughter seems to brighten up my day....you are like the wind that blows away the dark clouds which surrounds me....i just feel really happy when im with you.....even if you do not notice me or pay little attention to me...i am satisfied to have you as my friend.....well....i wanted to tell you my feelings for you....but when i found out that you were already in a relationship....i really became very emo for 2 days....i almost started doing stupid things....that i dont wish to mention here....and yeah....it felt like it was the end of world.....that is probably a feeling that i wont forget this lifetime....its like having a knife being driven into my heart that i needed to live....i really felt like giving up and stuff....but than i told myself....that my motto in life was to never give up....so i continued to keep this things to myself....and i guess it was a really stupid thing to do...cause overtime....it became too heavy for me to carry and i had to write it out somewhere....haiz....do you know my feelings for you?....does it even bother you?....does my presence irritate you?.....i always ask myself these questions......sometimes i think im foolish for doing this kind of things.....you might not even know that this person im writing to is you....and yet i pin high hopes that you realize that this person is you.....is love something that is already decided by your fate?.....or is love something that you strive for and decide for yourself?......my life is so complicated now....i dont know if liking you was a mistake....cause if it was....it was probably a good mistake that i would have not regretted making.....i would do anything for you....even if you want me to bring the stars from the skies for you.....i would still find a way to do it....even if it takes me more than one lifetime to do it....perhaps its just wishful thinking on my part....you already have someone to care for you....but i dont mind being a little flame amongst the big flames....even if you do not recognize my prescence or acknowledge me....all i wish for is that i can be a little angel to protect you wherever you are....and i swear to not let any harm come to you at all....even if i have to give up my life for you...it would be a good exchange....and i would die peacefully and leave this world knowing that i did something for you....i just hope that you will be happy....as long as you are happy...i will be happy....if you are sad...i am willing to share that sadness and sorrow with you....if you need any help....i will be there for you......i know that sometimes you feel sad and hurt because of relationship and family problems.....but do you know that everytime you tell me these things....i am actually more hurt than you?....just seeing you sad or depressed.....makes me feel like someone has thrust a blade through my chest....and the wound wont heal....only you being happy can erase the wound that has appeared.....if you ask me how important you are to me....i would tell you that you are not placed at the 1st position in my heart.....because you are not number one.....but you are the only one in my heart.....even if you were number 2....no one would be number 1.....i think getting to know you was probably the mission that i had to complete in this life time....and im glad that i got to complete it while im still in my teens :D.....i dont expect you to feel the same way for me....because i know that love cannot be forced....i ask myself occasionally whether being with you is just a dream....or could it be reality?....i guess thats how life is....certain things are really complicated....someone once told me that if you love a person deeply....you should dedicate your heart and soul to that person....and i guess i have already done it....but...i done it without you knowing....so i guess in the end....i still accomplished nothing at all....im really worried about certain things....i mean life is so unpredictable....anything can happen....and sometimes i wonder to myself....if one day you aren't around anymore....what should i do?.....how will i react?.....this are some of the questions that even i myself do not have answers to....i guess i will let the future decide the answers.....
-JuN-
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<3 25/07/06 -
